My emotion is back... but it's confused

For the past few weeks I've been feeling an utter lack of emotion. I have no idea what brought it on, or why, but I felt absolutely nothing. I wasn't happy, I wasn't sad, or angry; just nothing. It kinda freaked me out, especially when people I'm close to would tell me things, expecting me to react, and I would quickly have to pretend to feel something about it. It's not like I didn't care, I just couldn't get my brain to respond properly I guess. I couldn't get excited about anything. I thought maybe something might be wrong, and maybe this was some form of chronic depression, although I have no reason to be so unhappy as to result in that.

Anyway, about a week ago I finally got my emotions back, and ever since then I've been a mess of feelings. My mood will switch from one extreme to another in a split second. It's almost as if my mind is trying to catch up with the break it took, so now I'm on emotional overload!

Today for example, I woke up relatively neutral, neither happy nor unhappy. Upon arriving at school I could slowly feel my temper rising the longer I sat in my class. I found myself looking around at my classmates and truely hating each one of them. I have never hated anyone in my life before, and here I was wishing the worst upon each of them. I finally had to leave, and went into the library. There I met an old friend from high school, and the short while we had to visit lifted my spirits greatly. Once me and Sam got home, I remained relatively positive (although I think this was partly because I was so hyper from the milkshake I'd had on the way home) and we joked around a lot. I walked her to work, and upon leaving her I suddenly felt a wave of depression hit me with full force. I have absolutely no idea what brought it on. About halfway home I saw two missionaries walking ahead of me, and at the sight of them I became immediately happy once more. (I dunno why, but I always get excited when I see missionaries!) I stayed pretty happy throughout the afternoon, and got all of my stuff together for the weekend ahead. I decided to try on my bridesmaids dress once more, just to make sure everything was okay with it. Looking at myself in the mirror with my dress on, I felt like I was so pretty, which is a miracle in itself. I decided to keep it on for a few minutes, so I could enjoy this rare occasion, then took it off so it wouldn't get ruined.

Afterwards I began getting my laundry together since I had quite a large pile of it spread across my room. At this point I'm wearing an old pep band t-shirt from high school, and my cargos since all my other clothes were dirty, and upon seeing myself once more in the mirror (this is only a few minutes after the dress-wearing) my entire perception changed, and all I saw was a sad excuse for a college student. Ignoring this fact, I grabbed my laundry basket and headed toward the laundryroom. As I walked, I found myself increasingly growing more and more agitated. I began realizing how ridiculous it is that me and Sam have to walk down the street everytime we want to do our laundry since our landlord still claims that she doesn't have a key for us. Then I realized that I didn't have enough quarters to do all of the loads I needed, so I only was able to finish half of my clothes. Now I'm back from the laundryroom, and still pretty upset, although I've calmed down somewhat.

All in all, I guess I'm glad that my emotions have returned, I just hope that they straighten themselves out soon. I'm sick of having random mood swings, and feeling things for no proper reason.

Oh, and I don't want any of you to worry about me. I'm sure this will pass soon, and I'll be fine again, but in the meatime it is a little irratating. I just thought I'd share what was happening with you guys, but I don't want any of you to get upset or anything, so don't.

By the way, Michael Buble is working his magic on me right now, and I feel much better already! It's amazing how much this guy's voice makes me happy! :)