Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Memories of summer.

I always complain about my insomnia. I talk about how stressful it is to not be able to drift off. Lying in bed for hours, unable to stop the array of thoughts bombarding my head, but the truth is, I secretly love it. When I'm lying in bed, waiting for sleep to come, my brain is working at its best. These are the moments when I am most inspired, whether it's for a story, or a picture, or some personal aspect which affects me in my day to day life. Sometimes the things I see are frightening, other times they make me feel like crying for hours on end. But sometimes, I am able to recall the most wonderful memories, and these are the moments worth staying awake for a few extra hours. Tonight was one of those nights.

I've hardly spoken to anyone about the events of this last summer. I've kept most of my feelings to myself about what transpired, and so far I've been able to function just fine that way. This will be one of the first times I have ever divulged my experience.

As you all know, (at least, you should know) I've started working again. Since both of my jobs consist mainly in customer service, it's inevitable to find myself in the middle of a conversation with one of the customers. And what's the best conversation starter during this time of year? "How was your summer?" I cannot count the times I've been asked this, and each time I am filled with sadness as I remember the events which transipred. I simply tell them that my summer was alright, but don't give any more information than that. 9 times out of 10 the customer doesn't really care about your summer anyway, they just feel compelled to ask.

So, the point of this blog is, I've discovered that I've been focusing so much on how terrible my summer was, that I'd almost completely forgotten all of the wonderful things that happened. As I was laying in bed tonight I recalled the moment when Yancy, Leah, Jason, Shawna and I were all driving together, and we each took a turn picking a different song to sing along to. Despite our current situation, we were enjoying each other's company, and even though I didn't know some of the songs that were picked, it was still one the the best moments I can remember. I also recalled driving with dad, while he told me old stories about mom, and how she changed him into the man he is today. I didn't know about half of the things he'd said, and learning all of these new things about a woman I loved was something I'll never forget. I could recall sitting with Jason after everyone else was asleep while he told me about his childhood. I remember him teaching me new recipes which I still carry on making by the way. I remember playing War with Leah, and loving the fact that I had this chance to get to know her better. I remember mom demanding potato salad. I remember Miya introducing me to a new video game which consequently has started a whole new fandom for me. I remember sending those balloon messages off into the sky, and all of us standing there, waiting as a family until they disappeared from view. I remember watching Harry Potter with not only Miya and Roy, but also mom as well, and thoroughly enjoying it both times. So many wonderful things happened during that short period of time, and I've not even begun to list them all. If I tried, then this blog would be ridiculously long.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, this may have been one of the worst summers I've ever had; but in a way, it was also the best, because it brought us together as a family. I will never forget any of those moments, and I'm thankful for the chance I got to experience them. To my family, I love each and every one of you so much, and I'm forever grateful that I was lucky enough to be added to this particular family. I wouldn't trade you guys for anything.

5 comments:

mywest said...

Sweetheart
Thanks, I love you! DAD

shoezimm said...

We did have some fun this summer in spite of everything, didn't we? Arlene was a wonderful woman who helped bring this family closer together and its a living testament to her love for us that will continue on through the rest of our lives.

I love you too...and can't wait to see you in a few weeks.

Teachinfourth said...

You said it well, little sister.

I love you, too.

Danielle said...

Your family IS wonderful! I'm glad you made it through with some good memories!!

Yancy said...

Thanks for sharing this wonderful post. Sure do love you!